I'm Back!

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Well, I’m back. Sorry I got distracted there for a year and a half. I should explain that there’s a very fine line for me between having enough to do so that I don’t get bored, and having so much to do that my anxiety disorder kicks in. All of my previous blogs were written while we were in Florida for 3 months and I wasn’t taking any classes.

Shortly after I wrote my last blog, we came back to Chicago, bought a house and moved within four weeks time. Concurrently, I resumed my usual back-breaking schedule of one class a quarter at Northwestern, where I’m working on a Masters in Creative Writing. So, the combination of those activities along with my regular full-time job (Worrying), had me putting certain activities like my blog on the back burner.

I’ve been trying to quit my Worrying job for years now. It’s tough, because my philosophy on life has always been that the more I worry, the safer my family will be, the better my essay will be, the better the chances are that everyone attending a gathering at my house will have a good time, etc.

I’ve always believed that if I worry enough, I can prevent myself and my loved ones from ever experiencing a single moment of pain or unhappiness. Every second that my mind is not otherwise occupied, it sifts through all of my past and present activities and conversations to determine what can be done to make the future perfect, and what I could have done/said to prevent imperfections of the past. And in those moments, I sincerely believe that I am that powerful (no cape required.) Right now I’m worried about you, my reader. Are you having a good time? Are you bored?

I’m really worried about all this worrying. I can clearly see now that it gets in the way of my own happiness, and, truth be told, I don’t think my efforts have made a dent in the GHP (Gross Happiness Product) of my family and friends. So I’ve given my notice at my full time worrying job. I’m cleaning out my desk. This time I really mean it!

And I’ve started a new full-time job at the Institute of How to Help Joan Get the Most out of the Rest of Her Life. We’re still in the early stages of discovery here at The Institute, falling back on our previous work with the study of Buddhism, diet and exercise, but with increased vigor! We’re currently working with two good books: The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook, by Edmund J. Bourne, PhD, and 8 Minute Meditation, by Victor Davich. (More on this later.) The latter book uses a mnemonic “ABC” which stands for Always Be Calm. That’s funny, I thought when I first read it. I always thought it stood for Always Be Closing.

As you can see, I’ve got a long way to go.